Saturday, October 19, 2013

More Advice for Young People Contemplating Marriage: Religious Issues

There are some key areas that are hot topics in marriages and contribute to a lot of marital unhappiness.  Some of those areas are church, money, and household chores.  In this post I will only talk about church.

The issue of religious belief, church attendance and spiritual leadership in the marriage should be discussed and agreed upon prior to tying the marriage knot.

Many young people don't give much thought to these things before they are married.  It might save them from a lot of grief later if they gave serious thought to this issue.  Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Is the person I am dating grounded in a good Bible believing church and attends it regularly?  If, so, where?  Does he/she talk about what is being taught there? Or, is he/she not attending regular?  Is it a church that I could be happy at?

2. What does the person I am dating believe doctrinally?  Have we ever shared what we believe with each other?  Are we in agreement?

3. If the person I am dating does not attend church regularly or I don't know for sure if they do, why not?

4. Is the person I am dating a spiritual leader?  Does this person bring up spiritual topics for discussion on a regular basis without me prompting?  Does this person encourage me to be my best spiritually?  In all reality, if I am a girl and he is a guy, could I see him leading me in devotions and asking  us to pray together as a couple on a regular basis after marriage?

5. What kind of habits does my dating partner have in the way of personal devotions?  Does he/she ever talk about what he/she is reading about and learning in private devotions?

6. If we don't attend the same church now, could I see one of us moving over to the other's church of choice once married?  Or if we moved to a new city, could we agree together on a church?

7. Is church a priority to this person, or if other more fun things come up, do they skip church for it?

Often, young people are so caught up with each other, they don't think of these things, or if they do and there are areas that are of concern, they dismiss it, thinking that things will be different once they are married. 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you are a guy and the gal you are dating doesn't exhibit any of the positive spiritual qualities mentioned above, chances are it's not going to change after marriage.  And likewise, if you are a gal and the guy you are dating doesn't exhibit qualities of a spiritual leader, it's likely he won't be one after marriage either.  If your dating partner is not grounded and active in a good Bible believing church now, it is likely that he/she won't see it as important after marriage either.

These are things that have caused untold grief in marriages for husbands and wives.  It is very discouraging to get up and go to church alone while your spouse sleeps in.  It can pull you down spiritually so that you start skipping church too, or it will be just a source of discouragement for you that drags you down.

If the differences between you are doctrinal, then disagreement over where to attend church as a couple becomes an issue that can pull you apart.

There is so much at stake in this one area, that it is really important that you are clear on where you each stand and identify areas of disagreement before you are married so you can either make changes or come to an agreement that you are not meant for each other.  Please don't ignore this as it could be the difference between misery and marital happiness.

Scripture is clear:  2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

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