Friday, August 27, 2021

August 27, 2021 Our World Has Gone Bonkers

 It’s been a little over a year since I posted here.  We were on day 50 of the COVID-19 lockdown.  Things got back to “normal” for a short time, but every thing has gone bonkers since.  

The vaccines were rushed through.  Oh my what a hot topic that has become!

First people were bribed with money, donuts and other things to take the vaccines.  When the bribery quit working, then they started blackmailing people to take it.  Thousands of people will be fired from their jobs for not bowing to the blackmail. Other blackmail is in the works to restrict the unvaccinated from participating in society.

People have become cruel and murderous on Facebook toward others who choose not to take the shot. I have witnessed the following types of comments toward those who refuse the shot:

“You are selfish.”

“You should die”

“Take his job and his pension away!”

“If you come to the hospital and you aren’t vaccinated, don’t expect to be treated well.”

“I hope you get COVID-19 and die!”

What has happened to our world? What is happening to people? They are turning into monsters. Since when is it okay to wish hardship and death on another simply because they have a different view of something?

We have been given a window into the hearts of many people on social media. It confirms what Scripture says is true.

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭6:45‬ ‭NKJV‬‬



Monday, May 11, 2020

Day 50 of the Stay at Home Quarantine in Washington State



The last time I posted was March 19.  Here we are on day 50 of our stay at home quarantine orders from the governor.  We have tried to abide by the rules, only going out to grocery shop, buy a take out meal now and again and go to medical appointments.  I have broken quarantine twice.  Once to check on something at the airport and once to look for a dress at the second-hand stores in Idaho. Otherwise, we have behaved ourselves.

Except for missing church, the quarantine really has not changed much in our daily routine.  I still stay home and do housework and yard work as usual.  Rick still goes to work at the office because he was not sent to work at home and Nathaniel still goes to work at the grocery store.  The only thing that gets confusing is we lose track of the days with Sunday being a stay at home day just like the rest of the week.  

We are grateful our pastor has been uploading the sermons to Youtube so we can still get the spiritual nourishment we would normally get on Sunday.  That has been good.

I am grateful for spring and being able to spend time out working in the yard and planting a garden this year.  It helps break up the day and gives me some good outdoor time that is good for me.

We try to go for walks each evening and we have gotten to visit with our neighbors from a distance.  That has been nice to get to know the neighborhood more.

We are thankful so far that God has spared us and our loved ones from this plague.  We know that as the state is opened up more that the number of cases will rise again.  We pray that we can escape it, but if not, that God would be merciful to us.

Our daughter got engaged and has planned her wedding for July 25...we will be flying to NC for the wedding.  We pray that the airlines will not be full so that we will have less chance of being around someone who might be sick.  We pray that the wedding guests will all be well too.  Going to the wedding is actually scarier to me than the travel out and back for it.  But we don't want to miss this special day.  

Monday, March 16, 2020

Lessons to Learn Amid the COVID-19 Crisis

 See the source image


We live in interesting times.  Washington State has the distinction of being the epicenter for the US Coronavirus outbreak.  It's beginning to sound like I live in a leper colony.  We have closures of schools and day cares.  All sit-down eating establishments are now closed to eating in.  Take out or drive thru meals are fine.  The libraries are closed.  Grocery stores are being inundated with panicked people cleaning off grocery store shelves.  And, the virus continues to multiply, mostly West of the Cascades, however, there are a few scattered cases on the East side now. 

For many people, all the closures are even more reason to panic.  Those with young children are scrambling to find day care so they don't have to miss work.  Many people are having their hours cut or are being temporarily laid off.  Small businesses face uncertainty as the costs of lost revenue trickles down.  These are uncertain times.

I had a trip planned to go visit my family in Walla Walla, but since we have learned that a person can be contagious for a number of days before getting sick, I opted to stay at home.  Nathaniel works with the public.  He serves hundreds of customers on his shifts.  He could be exposed, bring it home to me and I could get it unknowingly and pass it on to my mom and family if I visited.  So in an abundance of caution...no visit to Walla Walla.  That is sad, but I don't want to be responsible for making anyone sick with this.

On our home front, life goes on as usual. Weeds, laundry, meal preparation, the guys going to work...it just goes on.  The only routine change is Sunday.  We watch the sermon online instead of going to church.  If a lock-down were to be imposed, life would not really be that different for us except the guys might not get to go to work.  I guess that is the good thing about having an uncomplicated life with not much going on outside the home. 

When all these announcements of closures began, at first I was like a lot of others...shocked and half panicked. Getting on Facebook to talk about the empty shelves and closures often led to complaining.  Yes, guilty as charged.  But as time has passed, I've settled into just rolling with it.  Yes, it's crazy and it's shocking, but I'm not panicked about it.  God is still on the throne.  I bet if we are open to it, we would find a lot of good lessons to learn from this time.

One lesson I'm trying to learn is to just look around me.  What needs to be done?  Just do the first task that I see that needs to be done instead of sitting around on Facebook scrolling through all the terrible things that are happening and reading all the unnecessary comments on the news articles.  This is my lesson today.  I got caught up in that today and made some snarky remarks in response to some of the unnecessary comments...basically adding my unnecessary comments to the snarky soup.  I can do better than that.  Lord help me to be better than that. As the First Lady says, "Be Best".

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Reconciling Evil With God's Plan and Will For Our Lives

The question was asked in my devotional reading today, "Is there some difficulty in your life now that you can accept, not as a good thing itself but as part of God's wise plan for your life?"

I was reading some posts on Twitter yesterday and certain ones were saying, "How can you say that God planned for me to be raped (or fill in the blank) so that I could expose evil in the church?  This makes God out to be some sort of monster, purposely inflicting pain on His children to accomplish some grand scheme in His plan."

So, the question in my devotional reading today reminded me of these questions on Twitter.  These are tough questions.  How do we reconcile God's sovereign plan with sometimes life altering evil that touches our lives? I don't know that I will be able to adequately answer this, as I am working through this issue myself.  But since I think better in writing than I do out loud, bear with me while I attempt to think through this.  Feel free to jump in with comments.  I'd like to hear them.

I guess the passage of Scripture that comes to mind is Genesis 50:20 "But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."

Joseph was abused and sold by his brothers into Egypt. The Bible doesn't tell us his feelings during all of this, but one has to assume he was afraid and traumatized as a result of the abuse and betrayal by his brothers.  In Egypt he ended up in prison as the result of a false accusation, so he was again abused in Egypt. Because of his integrity and the dreams God gave him that came true and boosted his reputation, he ultimately became second in command in the land of Egypt.

When his brothers came to Egypt for food and realized who he was they were afraid and that is when Joseph said, "You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive."

This is a great story. But the application to present day evil sometimes falls on it's face for those who never see good come from their situation.  It may be true that some day they can look back and see where they gained wisdom or in the future find that their trouble can be used for good to help others, but in the immediate present when there is no good to see that is coming from the difficulty, trauma or abuse how do we comfort someone without making God out to be a monster inflicting evil on His people?

I think one thing to think about is the fact that Joseph says, "YOU meant it for evil against me".  We need to help the person to realize that it is not God who inflicted the evil on them, but the person who abused them who did it. Or in the case where no one is at fault, such as a life altering illness, we could say that as a result of Adam's sin, all of humanity falls to decay and sickness at one point or another.  So the YOU could be Adam, since he started this ball of decay rolling.

Joseph remembers the goodness of God when he says, "BUT GOD meant it for good..."  We must never forget the goodness of God in our troubles.  Joseph didn't see the good God was working in his life until he was taken out of the prison and made second in command in the whole land of Egypt.  There were years where he was in less than desirable circumstances, the goodness of God was covered in a cloud of darkness, yet he continued to act with integrity before God and men.

In my own life, there are things that have happened that don't make any sense.  It would be easy to point at God and ask, "Why have you allowed this into my life?  Why?!"  Truth be told, I have asked that question of God at times.  Yes, God knew it was going to happen.  He could have stopped it.  But He didn't.  But based on the facts of Scripture, that God is good, I have to believe that what is happening in my life and the life of my loved ones is not God being a monster and inflicting pain and suffering, but rather the pain and suffering are the result of what the Evil One is doing in this world and God will work it for good somehow, some way as I trust Him with it.

So I point my finger at the ones who have inflicted the evil, be it people or natural decay as a result of Adam's original sin and say, "YOU meant it for evil, BUT GOD can and will use it for good at some point."  I don't know that this answer would be satisfactory to those on Twitter, but this is what I come to as I think on this issue.

Friday, January 03, 2020

How Jay Adams Would Counsel Charles Spurgeon

"Charles suffered throughout his adult life with bouts of depression so severe that his mental health was significantly challenged." - From Susie, the life and Legacy of Susannah Spurgeon.

Charles Spurgeon is revered as one of the world’s greatest preachers and a godly man.  How would Jay Adams counsel Charles Spurgeon?  Read what Jay Adams says about depression. 

(See my comments at the end)

From Jay Adams "The Christian Counselors Manual"
What Is Behind Depression? 

Almost anything can be at the root of the counselee’s depression: a recent illness in which he gets behind in his work, hormonal changes, a reversal of his fortunes, the consequences of simple negligence, guilt over a particular sin, self-pity arising from jealousy or a disadvantageous turn of events, bad feeling resulting from resentment, worry, etc. 

The important fact to remember is that a depression does not result directly from any one of these factors, but rather comes from a cyclical process in which the initial problem is mishandled in such a way that it is enlarged in downward helixical spirals that eventually plunge one into despair. 

The downward cycle of sin moves from a problem to a faulty, sinful response, thereby causing an additional complicating problem which is met by an additional sinful response, etc. That pattern needs to be reversed by beginning an upward cycle of righteousness resulting in further righteousness. 

Here the reverse pattern may be seen: a problem met by a biblical response leads to a solution which strengthens one’s ability to solve new problems. The downward cycle enslaves one in hopelessness and guilt, thus bringing on a slowing down or cessation of activity, called depression. 

Proverbs plainly warns against the slavery of sinful habits: For directly before the eyes of the Lord are man’s ways, and all his paths are well considered. His own iniquities seize the wicked, and he is held fast by the ropes of his own sin (Proverbs 5: 21,22, Berkeley). 

Sinful habits are hard to break, but if they are not broken, they will bind the client ever more tightly. He finds that as sin spirals in a down-ward helix, pulling him along, he is captured and tied up by sin’s ever-tightening cords. He is held fast by the ropes of his own sin.....

Sin leads to guilt and depression, sinful handling of sin further complicates matters leading to greater guilt and deeper depression, ad infinitum. In the downward cycling the depression certainly contributes to further failures as it often becomes the excuse for a faulty handling of the sin itself. But, in contrast to those who would speak of changing the feelings in order to change the behavior, God reverses the order: He declared, "do right" and "there will be a lifting up of your face." 

Avoiding Depression
 Such depressions never need result if the initial problem is met God’s way. Depression is not inevitable, something that simply happens and cannot be avoided. Nor is it ever so far gone that the depression cannot be counteracted. The cycle can always be reversed at any point by biblical action in the power of the Holy Spirit. The hope for depressed persons, as elsewhere, lies in this: the depression is the result of the counselee’s sin.

————————————

He would have confronted Charles Spurgeon telling him his depression was his own fault due to his sinful handling of things and all he needed to do was repent and do right and everything would be better.  

According to what Adams has written here, one has to conclude that Charles Spurgeon was not doing things "God’s way" or he would not have suffered with depression in the first place.  In fact, Adams use of Proverbs 5:21-22 in the Berkeley translation, would put Spurgeon in the category of the wicked because he sinned by letting depression get a hold of him.

Jay Adams has ripped those verses out of context and twisted them up to make his point "Biblical".  The context is a warning against getting involved with immoral women and cheating on your spouse. It’s talking about infidelity being a trap.  Once you begin to lie to your spouse you have to keep telling lies to cover for the previous lie. It’s like an ever tightening cord or web that tangles you more and more the deeper you get into it.  Depression is not the topic of this passage at all.  

It concerns me that Adams is ripping verses out of context like this. Now I feel like I need to go back and reread everything and look up all his proof texts.

Monday, December 23, 2019

Review of "The Christian Counselor's Manual" by Jay E. Adams


The Christian Counselor's Manual: The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling (Jay Adams Library)

I had this as a text book in college when I was too young and inexperienced to understand the ramifications of taking what it taught to its logical end. Due to a situation we had recently, I decided to download "The Christian Counselor's Manual" so I could reread it and understand what happened.

I have researched online to see what experiences others have had with this type of counseling and I've found among some good stories a number of horror stories. What I see are otherwise caring, compassionate pastors, who through this training, become like Job's counselors in the counseling session, accusing hurting people of sinning because they are hurting.

This type of counsel is only suitable for playground type squabbles. It is not suitable when abuse of any kind is in the picture or where the other party continues to perpetuate the problem. What has become apparent to me in these cases, is the victim who comes for help is shamed, blamed and confronted for sin while the abuser is not dealt with. Indeed, one case I read, an abused wife was sent back to reconcile with her husband and told to be a better wife. The abusive husband was empowered by this and stepped up the abuse to the point she had to flee for her life.

It is concerning to me that Adams has simplified counseling down to one neat little doctrinal formula based off a few proof texts:

"And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another." -Romans 15:14 

"And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you;" -1 Thessalonians 5:12

Confront, concern and change. Gather data. Find sin. Confront with concern for change. Confrontation seems to be the big focus in this book. He uses this word over and over. Why? Because the Greek word for admonish is confront.  Therefore all counseling must include confrontation and change. This is why every counselee, regardless of whether or not they are guilty of anything with regards to the issue they seek counsel for, will be confronted and told they have sinned and need to change. So the abused spouse, even though she has done everything within her power to please her husband, will be confronted and told she needs to change simply because she is the one who came for counseling. All you have to do is read the one and two star reviews on Jay Adams books on Amazon to see this pattern borne out. Here is a link to read about two terrible counseling cases: https://www.heresthejoy.com/2017/09/heres-an-abuse-survivors-plea-about-nouthetic-biblical-counseling/

The link above is very important. After you finish reading this post I encourage you to jump over to that link and read the entire post all the way to the end.  All of it is very important.  Also visit all the links there and read those as well.  You will get a view of Nouthetic Counseling from the point of view of one who was abused.  It illustrates the fact that these counselors simply are not equipped to counsel people who have been abused. Jay Adams does a huge disservice to both pastors/counselors who think his methods are all that one needs to take on these types of issues. 
My other concern is how skillfully Adams has turned his doctrine of counseling into the only right way to do counseling. In essential doctrines there must be unity. In non-essentials we are to have charity. Adams has taken his brand of counseling and turned it into an essential doctrine. Indeed, he calls it Biblical Counseling or doing it God’s Way, which makes it difficult for anyone to argue with it, unless you want to be viewed as a heretic. His book completely trashes anything to do with any other methods of counseling, effectively denying any common grace among other methods. However, he gives lip service to the idea of common grace, but he denies it in practical application. This is but one example of gas-lighting in his book. 

He has made his own counseling cult. Indeed, his book claims those who are trained by him undergo a radical personality change so that those who otherwise would not be confrontational with others become so. Yet, he says, "Human personality is not violated by the program and plan of God. God makes resources beyond the counselee available in His Word by His Spirit through the various channels of grace (help.)." How is a radical personality change not a violation of a person’s personality? Yet again, another example of gas-lighting. Our son went through a radical personality change at the hands of someone we thought we could trust who turned out to be a liar with bad intentions. He altered our son’s personality to reject us and to believe if he was to be a Biblical man he had to be willing to kill. He was brainwashed! I think Pastors and others who take Jay Adams training are brainwashed. Why else would an otherwise caring and compassionate person outside the counseling room, turn into a confrontational person, like Job’s counselors, inside the counseling room.

On the issue of mental illness, Jay Adams says, "The field is growing. Certainly an understanding of the influence of bodily chemistry upon behavior and emotions is only beginning. For instance, recent study indicates that those pathological problems that result from toxic chemical impact upon perception and, consequently, upon personality are probably greater in number than presently is known.

Adams admits here that there are mental health issues that spring from organic causes that have yet to be discovered.   So how does he propose to distinguish between mental health problems that stem from organic problems and issues that manifest from sin problems? How does the Nouthetic Counselor know which the counselee has?

Just earlier he stated, "I do not wish to argue the point that modern ideas of mental illness are invalid. Many others have made this point with impact. 6 Moreover, I have cited some of this material at length elsewhere. 7 I am concerned here to make but two observations only: (1) the psychiatrist should return to the practice of medicine, which is his only legitimate sphere of activity; (2) the minister should return to the God-given work from which he was ousted (and which, in many instances, too willingly abandoned)." 

I happen to know that food sensitivities can cause many problems that look like sin problems.  If Nouthetic Counselors and Jay Adams would spend three days in the testing room at the Center for Environmental Medicine their presuppositions about mental illness would be turned their head.

When tested to soy, my husband became very angry and he could not control it. When tested to phenol, I became so depressed that I cried like a baby and could not control it.  Once neutralized we were fine.  It explained many of the problems we had been having. At lower levels, phenol was impacting me with panic attacks in the grocery from the plastic produce bags and headaches from Tupperware (I was a dealer).  In lower doses, soy caused depression.

Had we gone to Nouthetic Counseling, these reactions would have been classified as sinful. Most people can not get this kind of testing. It’s expensive and the treatment is $200 to $500 a month and insurance won’t pay any more.  We were fortunate to be able to get the testing and five years of treatment. It helped immensely, but now, years later my husband badly needs to be retested and get back on treatment but we can not afford it, so he suffers mentally.  He has many sensitivities that we can’t figure out. Nouthetic Counselors would confront him for sinning, heaping guilt on him for something that is out of his control.

So it is beyond me why Adams admits there are mental health issues whose causes have not even been discovered yet, and still think it’s a good idea to treat every counselee as if their problems are their fault?  This is cruel and has the potential to cause far more harm than it’s worth.

How is this verse in practice here? "Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men ." -1 Thessalonians 5:14

Jay Adams states, "Counseling methodology, as London rightly has said, is "a moral question that is always answered by the therapist in practice." Indeed, it could not be otherwise. What we do to another man and how we do it is tightly bound up with what we believe about that man."

Indeed!  So if the counselor already has in his mind the method by which he will deal with the counselee before he/she walks through the door, and that method is Jay Adams method, then it will be assumed this person needs to be confronted for some sin in their life and the data gathering will ensue with that bias in mind. It matters not if that person has been sinned against at no fault of their own, they will be blamed, shamed and confronted. So then the Jay Adams method violates Scripture. "He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. "-Proverbs 18:13

Monday, December 09, 2019

Nouthetic Counseling: My Response to Jay Adam's Answers


I took a counseling class 40 years ago in college. Our text book was the one pictured above. I decided
to look into Jay Adams' website to review what I had forgotten from 40 years ago. I was too 
young and inexperienced 40 years ago to realize what this counseling method could do if taken to
it's logical end. Now 40 years later, I find horror stories online about the damage this kind of counseling
has had especially for those who are in abusive relationships or who have been sexually abused by
church leaders or others. 

It is my prayer that what I have written here will cause you to do further research before involving 
yourself in this type of counseling either as a counselor or counselee. It is not appropriate for all 
counseling situations. What I have presented here  is taken from Jay Adam's answers on his website. 
 I have seen other quotes from his books elsewhere that have left me scratching my head, however, 
due to space and length I can not cover everything. I'm currently in the process of reading Jay Adams'
"The Christian Counselor's Manual". I plan to write another post once I have finished reading it.

Nouthetic Counseling is useful for some marriage counseling issues that do not involve abuse,
interpersonal relationship issues that do not involve abuse, emotional or physical and general
situations dealing with Christian living in general. It is poorly suited for those suffering from mental
disorders not stemming from organic causes that can be identified. The reason for this is that
there are mental illnesses that have causes not yet identified by medical science or that are flatly
ignored by the conventional medical establishment. These people who fall through the cracks 
and can not get a definitive diagnosis for their mental problems are considered to be acting out of sinful 
 impulses. The Biblical Counselor has no way of knowing if the person before him is one
who has fallen through the cracks and if they were properly diagnosed there would be a perfectly good
 reason for their mental trouble. To treat the previous person as being simply acting in sinful ways would 
heap guilt on a person who is bewildered by their own behavior because they can't control it. But I'm 
getting ahead of myself here. I will talk more about this later.



By change we mean that counseling is done because there is something in another Christian's
life that fails to meet the biblical requirements and that, therefore, keeps him from honoring God. All  
counseling—Biblical or otherwise—attempts change. Only Biblical counselors know what a
counselee should become as the result of counseling: he should look more like Christ. He is the
Standard. Biblical counseling is done by Christians who are convinced that God is able to make
the changes that are necessary as His Word is ministered in the power of the Spirit. It is their
hope to help every interested church develop a nouthetic counseling program that will be a 
blessing to all of the members of that congregation. The importance of such counseling in 
churches is underscored by the words of Paul as he described his ministry in Ephesus:


Therefore, be alert, remembering that for three years, night and day, I didn't stop counseling each one  
of you with tears. (Acts 20:31)”

What about the person who comes for counseling because they have been abused
verbally/emotionally by another Christian and they need help resolving the issue because the 
other person refuses to participate in resolving things? 

In practice, what happens is that the person coming for counseling is scrutinized for sin
(see highlighted quote above) in their life and told they need to change whatever sin the 
counselor says they see in their life. Which is all good and fine if indeed there is something that 
the person needs to change.  
Later in Jay Adam’s answers, he talks about having both the offender and the person offended in 
the office together to work through their differences. Some times this is not done. The person who
comes for help is heaped with all the responsibility and guilt for fixing the problem and the offender is 
not dealt with for their part in the relationship breakdown.


“Truly Christian counseling (Nouthetic Counseling, or that which is in line with Nouthetic 
Counseling, but does not use the name) is Bible based from start to finish. See the answer to the 
previous question for more details. What makes the difference, fundamentally, is whether or not a 
system is grounded on the promise that the Bible has all the answers for life and godliness. The 
Bible teaches this in such passages as 2 Peter 1:3 where the promises of God are said to provide just
 such help. And, in addition, in 2 Timothy 3:17, from three distinct perspectives, Paul says the Scriptures
 are sufficient for every task an elder is called to do. What makes the difference between those systems
 that call themselves Christian and truly are, then, is whether it includes extraneous materials as well.  
Christian counseling, to warrant the name, must assert (and in actual practice
demonstrate) the sufficiency of the Scriptures for counseling.”

Yes, the Scripture is sufficient for life and godliness. However, there are counseling situations that may  
not be as cut and dried as the counselor may think. Situations where the counselor is sure 
the counselee’s emotional problems are all spiritual when they are not. Much damage can be 
done to someone whose emotional problems stem from something out of their control such as 
unknown food or chemical sensitivities. I will get into that later.

I have read horror stories of sexual abuse by a church leader on a young person in the church and it 
 was not reported to the police because Biblical Counseling was being employed to take care of 
the situation.

In another story I read, the abused and her parents come to the pastor to report sexual abuse on 
the daughter by the youth leader. In Biblical Counseling fashion, the pastor looked for some sin in 
the girl's life that he could confront and he admonished her for her clothing choices. Nothing was 
done about the abuser until years later when as an adult the girl saw his name in the paper in 
connection with another abuse case and she came forward to report her story.

Sadly, while the Bible is sufficient for life and godliness when it is used incorrectly or used but the
appropriate authorities are not brought in as well, Biblical Counseling does much damage to the
counselee.


“Faith that God's promises are reliable and are valid for us, is absolutely necessary. If a Christian
doubts this, then it is clear that he should expect no help.

A person who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. That person
shouldn't suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, because a double-minded person is
unstable in all of his ways (James 1:6-8).

Faith is so essential that without faith it is "impossible to please God" (Hebrews 11:6).

Now, the important fact to comprehend is that Nouthetic counseling, unlike many other forms of
counseling, at its foundation, isn't a technique or system. In the final analysis, it is a matter of 
calling upon a Person for help. There is nothing mechanical about it. When one is in the proper 
relationship with God, he may expect Him to bless and answer his prayers. When he is not, he 
must first become properly related through repentance and faith if he would have God do so.

God is the believer's heavenly Father. When he believes and obeys Him, he may expect God to
answer his prayers according to what is best for him (not always what the believer thinks is best).
That is the confidence that we have; but "let him ask in faith, without doubting." The reason why
many believers fail to receive the help that they desire is two-fold: 1) they fail to ask ("You don't 
have because you don't ask." James 4:2) and 2) they ask "wrongly-to waste it on [their] pleasures"
(James 4:3). These failures both demonstrate a lack of biblical faith! So, let a counselor and his
counselee both come to counseling full of faith. Faith leads to hope, hope leads to endurance, and
endurance leads to the changes that God desires.”

But it is a technique and a system.  Certain steps must be followed…”Nouthetic counseling is
counseling that involves face to face confrontation by one person to another, out of loving concern for  
him, in order to bring about the changes God desires in his life. That in a nutshell, is what 
Nouthetic counseling is all about.” Confrontation, Concern and Change. This is the technique and 
system.  Confrontation: find something wrong with the counselee and confront them. Concern:
couch the confrontation in concern for the counselee. Change: expect the counselee to change/take a
certain action. This is the system and there are techniques spelled out in the book on how to knock down
objections that the counselee might have. 

It is interesting in The Christian Counselor's Manual, there is a whole chapter dedicated to technique. 
Simply put, there has to be a framework for counseling...a pattern that is generally followed or nothing
will get accomplished. For Adams to insist it is not a technique or a system is denying the obvious.

In Christian counseling, there is the dimension of prayer and relying on the Holy Spirit to lead and guide. 
Adams is correct in this. Ideally that should take the counseling sessions in the right direction, however, 
counselors are not perfect and they make mistakes. They can make wrong assumptions about the 
counselee or the problem that they have come to get help with. They must listen carefully to what the 
counselee is saying and not make wrong assumptions. This where the counseling sessions will fall apart. 
 But since Adams has conditioned the success of the counseling on both the counselor and the counselee
having faith that God will work, if the counseling fails to produce the changes the counselor decided 
needed to be made, it's easy to brush it off and chalk it up that the counselee didn't have enough faith 
to follow through with the changes the counselor expected. In reality it could be that the counselor's 
wrong assumptions are confusing the issue and he is telling the counselee to take action or make 
changes that aren't making sense to the counselee and that is why it's not having a good outcome.


“It follows that if those who do counseling as a life calling are the elders of the church, and they 
are ordained to their office by the church, Christians ought to do counseling under the auspices of the 
 church. Christians ought not to do counseling under other auspices since there is no rightful authority
to do so. However, there are many who have arrogated to themselves the "right" to counsel apart
from the church. It is precisely from this biblically lawless situation that much of the confusion
about counseling among Christians stems.”

No room for women to counsel other women who might have issues of a sensitive nature and 
don’t feel comfortable talking to a man.

If a Biblical Counseling pastor is going to be consistent with Jay Adams model, then he should not
encourage support of counseling ministries such as Union Gospel Mission and others who work 
with and counsel addiction cases. These are parachurch ministries and counseling is done by 
people not ordained to their office by the church and women also work as full time counselors 
there.


There are various reasons why people are hesitant to divulge data. Some have to do with 
mistrust. "What will the counselor do with this information?" they ask themselves. They wonder 
whether it will soon find its place in a sermon as an illustration or whether it will come back to 
haunt them as a piece of gossip spread around the congregation. Every counselor must keep 
information as private as the Bible requires.* When people have had a bad experience of this sort
in the past you must reassure them that it will not happen again.”

I am familiar with a case where a family member sent a letter to the Biblical Counselor concerning another 
family member. It was stated in the letter that it should be kept confidential. It was 
not. The counselee was told about it.  This sort of thing breeds distrust in the Biblical Counselor.


Depression usually comes from handling a "down" period wrongly. By slacking off when one feels
down, he allows responsibilities to slide and pile up. That, in turn, makes him feel worse. But, if he
continues to give in to his feelings even more will pile up, which leads to worse feelings, and so on
ad infinitum. He follows his feelings rather than meets his responsibilities. To help him, call on him to
act responsibly---regardless of how he feels. The more a depressed person acts in accordance with
his feelings instead of assuming his responsibilities, the worse he feels. The sooner he begins to act
responsibly, regardless of his feelings, the sooner his depression will lift.”

This might be good advice for someone who is capable of assuming his responsibilities but 
chooses not to because he/she just doesn’t feel like doing it. However, this advice doesn’t work too well 
if one is incapable of fulfilling their responsibilities due to physical impairment or for the one that is
 experiencing depression as a result of multiple sensitivities to food, chemicals or molds in 
the environment. Overwhelm sets in as things slide due to not being able to do the work because
they can’t physically do it. So what kind of counsel is given this person? See my comments later on 
 sensitivities.


“People with "nervous breakdowns," on the contrary, are anxious to do something, but perplexed
about what to do. That is because they have run out of resources. They have painted themselves
into a corner and don't know how to get out of it. If they ran from problems eventually there is no
place to run. If they lied their way out of difficulties, and people stopped believing their lies, they
found themselves up a creek without a paddle. In other words, their "tried and true" patterns have
broken down (certainly not their nerves!)* Sinful patterns eventually let people down. But because
they don't know what to do instead, they cease functioning.
People with "nervous breakdowns" are ready to listen to alternative ways of dealing with life's
problems. There is great opportunity to help them make radical changes for good. However, you
must be sure that you are not merely providing them alternatives. Rather, they must acknowledge the
 sin of their previous ways, repent of it and adopt God's ways out of a genuine desire to please Him. 
There is danger that they will grasp for what you offer as an expedient when faced with a 
difficult situation. Warn against this and take the time to instruct them thoroughly. They must make 
lifelong changes; not changes to meet some portending problem.”

Some of this may be true for some people, but it is an over-generalization.  There are people on the
autism spectrum, for instance, who when overwhelmed by various stimuli, whether it be noise, lights,
too much information at once, stress...they shut down.  Their nervous system doesn’t work right and
they are in constant fight or flight mode. This is not simply sinful behavior. They have a real
struggle with these things and they are doing the best they can with what they have been given to work
 with.  ( do some study on the vagus nerve to understand this better) To confront them and 
tell them they are sinning because they retreat and shut down is to add insult to injury and does 
them great damage.


“Bizarre behavior may result from widely differing causes.* It could arise from a brain tumor (an
organic cause), sleep deprivation (significant sleep loss over 2-4 days),** hallucinogenic 
substances (intentionally or unintentionally ingested), strange thinking (out of kilter with others),
fear (for instance, when a drug pusher constantly "looks over his shoulder" to see if someone is 
following), camouflaging (to avoid detection of some wrong by throwing people off the track) and
so on. Having checked out the organic possibilities and found no reason to refer a counselee to a 
physician, counsel him.

Don't accept the claim that a person is "out of touch with reality" unless some organic cause for
"catatonic" behavior has been detected. Counsel the individual as if he is in touch with reality. If 
what you say is threatening enough,*** he will respond. Try to learn what it is he is attempting to avoid.  
Investigate each case to discover what is behind it, and counsel accordingly.”

*** For instance, "If you will not talk or take care of your personal needs, we will have to leave you
here to soil your underwear and deficate in your clothing."

I am appalled by what is said here.  I happen to be friends with a Christian lady who is 
schizophrenic. She tells me if she does not take her medicine she begins hearing voices in her 
head. Obviously, the medication is helping her to think more clearly.  

The idea of using threats with a counselee is appalling and on a basic level not Biblical.  The Bible
teaches us to be gentle with the weak, and to be kind. Where is the Biblical warrant to use threats
in counseling? 


“Whether we are speaking about married couples or any other individuals who are having 
difficulties with one another, it is always proper to deal with everyone together. Why is that? For 
several reasons, all of which are biblical.

First, you should not speak about another behind his back. James 4:11, instructs us, "Brothers, 
don't speak against one another; whoever speaks against his brother or judges his brother speaks 
against the law and judges the law." How is that? The Old Testament in many places forbids 
gossip, slander and the like. If one disregards the law in this manner by engaging in these things,
in effect, he declares the law unimportant, wrong, or something of the sort. He "speaks against 
the law and judges the law!"

Now, not only does the Bible forbid tale bearing and slander, Proverbs 18:17 shows how foolish it 
is to do counsel one party alone. If you counsel with one, the other is not there to respond to what he 
says and give his view of the matter. Proverbs warns that when the first speaks he can seem 
most convincing until the second comes to examine him. Why would a counselor wish to counsel when 
 another was not present to supplement, alter or otherwise change his perception of the 
events by giving his interpretation? It makes no sense to listen to two biased or distorted stories,
and then try gleaning the truth from these two widely differing accounts.

When both parties are present, commitments made by one or both are known to all. Otherwise,
the one not present may fail to learn about them or only receive a distorted report. And if one or 
the other person seeks forgiveness, etc.and the other is on the scene to grant it.

There is every reason, then, to invite all invite all who are involved in a problem to be present at 
every session. It is foolish not to do so.”

I am familiar with a case where the counselee was verbally/emotionally abused by another in the
church and this person was struggling to deal with it. The counselor never brought the other party in
to mediate a discussion between the two to help resolve the issues.  Rather, all attention was placed
on the one who came for counseling and what they did wrong. The offender’s wrongdoing was
ignored.


“Nouthetic counselors think that these approaches are unsound because they are unbiblical.
Moreover, they assume that the counselee's emotions are "damaged" or that his memories need
"healing." There is no reason to think that either of these suppositions is true. Emotions are working
just fine when a counselee is having unpleasant past memories (otherwise he would not feel so bad).
And memories simply don't get sick; the idea is preposterous -- even as a metaphor.

What is actually happening is that non-biblical methods of dealing with painful past incidents are
being substituted for biblical ones. Confronting persons who have wronged you, forgiving them upon  
repentance, and putting away all bitterness and anger are God's ways of dealing with 
unpleasant memories. These biblical approaches are not always pleasant; in certain cases they 
may even involve bringing charges leading to church discipline. But they are the Scriptural ways to 
handle past wrongs. Visualization experiences or expecting healing miracles from Jesus Christ 
upon the asking are ways never set forth in the Bible. Can you imagine the apostles using them? 
Advising Titus or Timothy to do so? Of course not. Then neither should we do so.”

So the expectation is that unpleasant memories magically disappear if a person has forgiven the
wrongdoer. Therefore, if the unpleasant memories persist, then it is assumed the counselee has 
not really forgiven the offender and is in sin.

Some wounds take longer to heal. Forgiveness can be granted, but unpleasant memories are still
going to pop up depending on the severity of the wound and the things that trigger them. To blame
the counselee and tell them they must not have really forgiven the person because unpleasant
memories resurface only piles false guilt on top of what they are dealing with and to tell them to
ignore the unpleasant memories adds confusion if the unpleasant memories are believed to be a
signal of unforgiveness.


You need to understand that apart from injuries, tumors, and other brain problems, there is no 
such thing as mental illness. Those who use this terminology—unless they are speaking 
metaphorically—are using words inaccurately. All true "illness" is organic. Yet, these people, by adopting 
medical terminology, cloud the issue. How could a non-organic entity (whatever it may be) cause a  
non-organic illness? The very idea is preposterous. It is the body that becomes ill. Don't be 
deceived by medical terminology used to describe a non-medical problem.

Such problems are, in reality, problems in living. Advocates of "mental illness" have all sorts of 
names for such problems that describe effects, not causes (etiology). Ask them if there is a bodily test  
that has determined that there is a true bodily illness, and they will be stumped.*

Christian counselors deal with all problems in living. These problems have to do with loving God 
and one's neighbor. They are solved by dealing with thinking, attitudes and the behaviors that 
result from them. When these are unbiblical, they need to be changed by the Spirit working 
through His Word as it is ministered prayerfully. Don't be deceived by terminology, and don't allow 
anyone to medicate you for anything other than a true illness. Otherwise, the medication may 
mask the real problem and lead to a life of dependency upon it. Be sure that there is a medical 
reason—nothing less—for calling something an illness, some problem affecting the tissue in the 
body, not merely attitudes and thinking.”

The brain is where thoughts and emotions originate. Medical science has even been able to 
separate out the sections of the brain that do these things and many more. For instance, the
frontal lobe is where executive functions and emotions take place. It matures earlier in girls and
around 25 in boys. That’s why auto insurance is higher for boys than girls, because driving a car
takes executive function and they have more accidents than girls due to slowed executive 
function. 



There are so many things that can go wrong in the brain. They don’t even know half the stuff that
can go wrong in the brain that might affect a person mentally. To say if there isn’t a medical test 
for mental illness means it doesn’t exist is to ignore the fact that medical science simply may not 
have developed a test yet. It is cruel to tell a person their problem is all their sinful fault when it 
may not be.

I for one, know for a fact that there are people with mental health issues due to food and
environmental chemical sensitivity, who are not getting the help they need because it's expensive and
insurance won’t pay
  1. Mainstream medical doctors refuse to recognize it.
  2. There are very few doctors who will test for it
  3. Because of the above, few people are aware of it.


I have experienced this type of testing and my husband and I were treated for five years for
sensitivities. It was tremendously helpful until our insurance blew us off and we could no longer
afford the treatment.

I was having panic attacks in the grocery store, severe headaches at Tupperware rallies, general brain 
 fog, lack of concentration and lack of energy.

My husband was having huge issues with depression, suicidal thoughts, brain fog, anger, lack of
energy etc. Oh, and we were infertile.

We were referred to the Center for Environmental Medicine by missionary friends of ours.  Their
daughter had extreme mood changes. She could be fine one minute and the next mouthing off and
angry. It was found that she had multiple food and chemical sensitivities. Once treatment was 
started it was a night and day change for her.

My husband and I were tested and found to have multiple food and chemical sensitivities that 
caused our reactions too.

Sadly, we can’t afford the treatment anymore and the doctor is 8 hours' drive from us now.  Five 
years of treatment helped me a lot. We were able to have children three years after beginning 
treatment.The dr predicted that.  Building codes have mandated safer materials, so I am able to 
tolerate new buildings better. I use outgassed Tupperware and glass in my kitchen and always 
shop areas of grocery stores that require plastic bags last. I spend as little time shopping in 
physical stores as I can.  By lessening my chemical load, I can tolerate most of the foods I tested 
sensitive too.

Rick, on the other hand, has suffered a lot as a result of not being able to afford treatment. He has
struggled with sensitivities to almost everything he eats and a majority of his reactions hit him in 
the head.

For Biblical Counselors to say there is no such thing as mental illness and that a person is just in 
sinBby wrong thinking is extremely presumptuous and cruel.   They may be dealing with someone like
 I described above.  

Just because conventional medical doctors can’t find the organic problem for someone’s mental
problems doesn’t automatically mean the person has a sinful, wrong thinking pattern. Food and
environmental sensitivity may be wreaking havoc on them. 

 If Biblical Counselors could spend three days sitting in the testing room of the Center for Environmental Medicine, I guarantee it would upend the presuppositions they have about mental illness.

There is no absolute way for a Biblical Counselor to know if the person before him is dealing with an 
 organic/food/chemical/environmental problem causing mental issues.  

Medical science doesn’t have a test for everything and new discoveries are being made every day,
while there are tests for food/chemical/environmental sensitivity, mainstream doctors won’t 
recognize it and insurance companies won’t pay for it. 

So there is a huge swath of people who present with undiagnosed causes for their mental health
issues and Biblical Counselors assume sin is the issue, heaping guilt on a bewildered counselee that
doesn’t understand why, no matter how hard they try, they feel and react the way they do.


But not all of an individual counselee’s problems may be traced to some specific sin in his life. It may
be that he has been injured by others, misled, and so on. While he bears responsibility for how he
handles wrongdoing toward himself, nevertheless, he is certainly not responsible for everything that
occurs.”

And yet, in the case I am familiar with, this is exactly what happened to the counselee...everything
was made out to be his fault and the offenders were largely ignored in the equation.

From:

There are, of course, many organically-caused problems. Our counselors regularly refer counselees
to physicians whenever they suspect that something organic may be behind their behavior. They do
not want to miss a brain tumor, an aneurysm, or anything else that might require medical treatment.
While Nouthetic counselors refuse to diagnose, since we are not trained to do medical work,
whenever we suspect that something more than heart-motivated behavior is operating, we will send
counselees to a physician for a medical checkup.

For some time the problem of when to refer to a physician was a serious difficulty. There were no
guidelines. Now, since the recent publication of The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk 
Reference, by Bob Smith, MD, we have a helpful guide to enable us to make much better 
judgments about the matter. This book, written and published under Nouthetic counseling 
auspices, meets a real need. It alone cannot make the determination as to whether or not to refer a 
counselee to a physician, but it helps counselors to become aware of the signs and symptoms that may
 indicate the presence of a physical illness. The very fact that this publication was produced within 
Nouthetic circles gives the lie to the charge that we do not believe in medicine to treat truly organic 
problems.

What we do deplore is the use of medicine to deal with problems that have no organic cause. We are 
 adverse to masking those difficulties with medicine. For instance, if one’s conscience is 
troubling him by triggering unpleasant feelings, we think that the solution to the problem is not 
found in drugs but indealing with whatever it is that activated the conscience in the first place. In 
such cases the counselor deals with sin, not with the feelings. That is the bottom line. For help on
 so-called “chemical imbalances,” for instance, see The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk 
Reference.”

See my response above on mental illness.