I've gone through three months of intense pain in which I was losing hope that I would ever get past it. But God showed me that He is faithful to give me the strength I need for each day. He taught me to be more mindful of what I do and how I do it. He taught me to slow down and say no to too much activity.
The day I finally felt like I was coming out of the flare and was seeing hope again that I would have pain free days ahead, my physical therapist told me he was moving away. This was a huge blow since he has been there for me for 8 or 9 years now, whenever I had flares and needed treatment. He has become good friend. But God has been teaching me through this that I need to hold more tightly to Him than to my friends or health care providers. People leave. People move. People change. People eventually die. God never changes. And so I learn that I need to hold my friends and loved ones with loose grip and hang onto God with all my might.
And now, my little computer that I got for my birthday back in August, is having issues with a very noisy fan. Tonight my husband will take it to be shipped to TX for warranty repairs and I will be without it for a couple of months. I love messing around on Facebook, writing blog posts, checking my email, etc. But I've spent way more time at it than I should over the last few months and things have sort of gotten out of hand around the house. This inconvenience would normally make me very irritable, but God is showing me that this is a good way for me to establish better habits here at home and get more done. I will still have limited access to the main computer when the kids are not using it, but my time will have to be scheduled in just like theirs is.
God's ways are not always my ways, but His ways are higher than my ways and He does all things with wisdom. My job is to rest in His Providence, be it good or bad from my perspective. When I complain, I am complaining against His wisdom and providence. He does all things well, I just don't have all the details to see that.
1 comment:
We used to have three computers and are down to just one in our house too. The laptop died and we haven't fixed or replaced it. Our homeschool computer needs to be mailed for repairs but I haven't done it yet. So we all share the one healthy computer in the house. It is working okay and my house is cleaner. I'm counting blessings here too, and learning new habits as well!
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