It is my hope as I read Scripture, to find and share bits of encouragement that will help those who have been emotionally abused. These are not meant to be cure all posts, but rather encouraging help in addition to outside counsel.
"Do not keep silent, O God of my praise! For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful Have opened against me; They have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They have also surrounded me with words of hatred, And fought against me without
a cause. In return for my love they are my accusers, But I give myself to prayer. Thus they have rewarded me evil for good, And hatred for my love.
Set a wicked man over him, And let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is judged, let him be found guilty, And let his prayer become sin. Let his days be few, And let another take his office. Let his children be fatherless, And his wife a
widow. Let his children continually be vagabonds, and beg; Let them seek their bread also from their desolate places. Let the creditor seize all that he has, And let strangers plunder his labor. Let there be none to extend mercy to him, Nor let
there be any to favor his fatherless children. Let his posterity be cut off, And in the generation following let their name be blotted out. Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD, And let not the sin of his mother be blotted
out. Let them be continually before the LORD, That He may cut off the memory of them from the earth; Because he did not remember to show mercy, But persecuted the poor and needy man, That he might even slay the broken in heart. As he loved cursing,
so let it come to him; As he did not delight in blessing, so let it be far from him. As he clothed himself with cursing as with his garment, So let it enter his body like water, And like oil into his bones. Let it be to him like the garment which
covers him, And for a belt with which he girds himself continually. Let this be the LORD’s reward to my accusers, And to those who speak evil against my person.
But You, O GOD the Lord, Deal with me for Your name’s sake; Because Your mercy is good, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, And my heart is wounded within me. I am gone like a shadow when it lengthens; I am shaken off like a locust. My knees are
weak through fasting, And my flesh is feeble from lack of fatness. I also have become a reproach to them; When they look at me, they shake their heads. Help me, O LORD my God! Oh, save me according to Your mercy, That they may know that this is
Your hand— That You, LORD, have done it! Let them curse, but You bless; When they arise, let them be ashamed, But let Your servant rejoice. Let my accusers be clothed with shame, And let them cover themselves with their own disgrace as with a
mantle.
I will greatly praise the LORD with my mouth; Yes, I will praise Him among the multitude. For He shall stand at the right hand of the poor, To save him from those who condemn him."
Psalms 109:1-31 NKJV
The Psalmist has been emotionally abused. The first paragraph lists his complaint. He brings his complaint to God and does not suffer in silence. He pours out his heart to Him.
The next paragraph is the ruminations of one who has been abused. The Psamist is not shamed for having sinned because his attitude is bad toward his abusers. Scripture is brutally honest in recording the thoughts, feelings and emotions of
one who has been abused. It’s okay to have these feelings of anger and even revenge as recorded here. It’s part of being a fallen human. It is what we do with these feelings and thoughts that turn them into sin or not.
The next paragraph the Psalmist puts the whole issue into God’s hands, and pleads for His mercy and deliverance.
Lastly, he does not let the abuser define him and what he will do, nor does he allow the abuser to define his relationship to God. He decides with his will that he will praise the Lord.
Main Lessons in Review
1. Do not suffer in silence alone. First of all bring your trouble to God. While not in the text, it goes without saying, that you should seek counsel as well.
2. Do not feel guilty or allow a counselor or anyone to make you feel guilty for being angry for the way you were abused. This is a normal human response to being mistreated. Allow those feelings and emotions to come, but as Scripture says,
""Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath,"
Ephesians 4:26 NKJV
When you brew and stew in your anger, when you bring it up in your mind and dwell on and become bitter over the situation, then you have crossed over into sin. Each time it comes back at you and you are tempted to stew over it, hand it back
to God. Remind yourself that when you hang onto the anger, you are only hurting yourself and allowing the abuser rent free space in your head.
3. Trust God to help you through this. He will give you wisdom to do what needs to be done.
4. Do not let what the abuser did define who you are or what you do. Praise God for His unfailing love. No matter what the abuser has told you, God loves you and because of Christ you have worth.
Disclaimer: I do not intend these studies to be exhaustive or to be complete solutions to the complex issue of healing from abuse, but rather encouragement and a supplement to other methods of help for this issue. If you are in a physically abusive
situation, do not stay. Get yourself to a safe place.
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