One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading
two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my
brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Two wrongs don't make a right; but two Wrights made an airplane.
It's not the pace of life that concerns me; it's the sudden stop at the end.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Living on Earth is expensive; but it does include a free trip around the
sun.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
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Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.
The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians ... the quick and the dead.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Mike Hodapp's Clean Humor
Books by Marsha
http://www.lulu.com/Marsha-Iddings
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