Weep with Them that Weep

Romans 12:15 ... weep with them that weep.

We are commanded to weep with those who weep. But do you find it difficult to do that? Isn't it easier to just keep your distance and send a card and then go on and pretend nothing has happened? How often do we attend a funeral, give a hug and shed a few tears and then go on like nothing happened, never bringing up the subject of the lost loved one to the bereaved again? Or perhaps you buy some flowers, but instead of waiting for the person to answer the door, you leave them on the front step and beat a hurried retreat to your car so as to avoid a potential uncomfortable situation because you don't know what to say. It's so much easier to go that route. Some, feeling awkward and not knowing what to say end up passing the person off with spiritual platitudes that do little in the way of comfort but much in the way of causing frustration and more pain. "All things work together for good to them that love God...." is true, but the bereaved is not ready to to hear that when the wounds are fresh.

I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been the receiver and to my shame, the giver of this kind of "comfort". But I have been the receiver of it enough now, to know that it hurts and I try to be more careful now.

So how do we comfort those in distress? Telling them that everything will turn out alright, or that God has a good purpose for it usually is not comforting to the person in crises. It sends the message that you don't want to enter into their pain with them and help them through it. It tells them you are uncomfortable listening to their troubles. I know you might not mean it that way, but having been on the other side of it, that is how it comes across many times. Well meaning spiritual advice is not what they need when their wounds are so fresh. I remember one time when I was having a hard time coping with a circumstance in my life and I just wanted to talk it out. I was quickly brushed aside with the words, "Just give it to God." It quickly and effectively shut me down. That wasn't what I needed to hear at that moment in time. I needed a listening compassionate ear and a shoulder to cry on.

In Romans 12:15 we are commanded to weep with those who weep. That means more than just a few minutes of your time to say a few condolences or send a card. It means being there to listen. Being available to help in any way you can. And yes, sometimes it means saying nothing but hugging them and shedding tears with them. This means more than anything to one who is grieving any kind of loss. They need God's love in action.

I hope these thoughts have been helpful to you and that we can all be better comforters to those in distress and grief.

Dear Father, We need Your grace to step out of our comfort zones and show people we really care. Give us grace to help in time of need. In Jesus' Name, Amen.