Some Advice for Detecting Abusers

"Good understanding gains favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard.

Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool lays open his folly.

A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful ambassador brings health."
 ~Proverbs 13:15-17

There is one line out of each of these proverbs that are helpful when it comes to figuring out if you are dealing with a good person or a wicked person.  We have learned these things recently by experience.

1. V15 Good understanding gains favor with those who are honest and trustworthy.  If you ask lots of questions so you can understand better what you are getting into and it nets you ridicule and disfavor, then think twice about the person you are dealing with.  They should welcome questions.

2. V16 Every prudent man acts with knowledge.  Don't go into anything with another person without the knowledge of what exactly you are getting into.  If the person you are dealing with won't answer questions so you can have all the knowledge you need to be comfortable with the situation then back out. Don't go there.

3. V17 A faithful ambassador brings health.  If the person you are dealing with shows true care and concern for you and your well-being then they may be trustworthy.  But if they advocate things that could be bad for you physically, spiritually or mentally, think twice!  Run the other way!

Those who would take advantage of you typically don't want you to know all the details and they will belittle you if you ask too many questions or try to pressure you to make a decision without having all the information you really need to make an informed decision.

Abusers also do not care about your well-being.  Their bottom line is what you will do for them.  They might be after your money; they might be trying to get you to join a cult or cult-like group, or they may just want the thrill of power over you.  

Your health and well-being mean nothing to them. They may twist Scripture to ruin you spiritually.  

They may try to separate you from those you love by turning you against them or they against you.

They may try to get you to stop your medications, especially if you are on mental health meds because this makes you easier to control because then you won't be thinking straight and will need them to think for you. 

They are cunning and deceptive.  This is why we need to measure the people we are dealing with by Scripture.  If they get angry because you ask questions, or try to get you to make a decision without full knowledge of what you are getting into or they don't care about your health and well-being, physically, spiritually or mentally then RUN, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!