Devotion: How to Comfort Someone

How to Comfort Someone

from the Journals of Marsha Iddings

I've been typing up some of my journal entries for a book I hope to publish one day. Here below are some from 1991. I realize the grammar and punctuation may not be the best, but that is the way it was in my journal, so I have left it in tact. I hope you find some encouragement here.

December 23, 1991

Job 2:9-10"...shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil..."

God never promised we'd have no trouble. If it were that way we'd never appreciate the good or the good times. The bad times push us on to more mature growth.

December 26, 1991

Job 2:11; 3:1-26

2:11-13 tells how Job's three friends came and sat with him and mourned with him and said nothing. Sometimes that is the best thing you can do when someone is grieving or very ill—just sit with them. They don't need advice or even conversation. Just someone to be with them and care for them.

Chapter 3: Job pours out his sorrow. He wishes he were dead and can't understand why God is allowing these hardships. It is almost like some of David's Psalms where he has had tough times. It comforts me to read these accounts and to realize that even the saints of old were human in their feelings and thoughts during hard times. It's ok to "spill the beans" about how I feel to God. He's not going to shoot me down for it.

December 30, 1991

Job 4

Job's friend wasn't a very good comforter when he decided to open his mouth with "advice". He basically is charging Job with guilt because he sys the innocent do not suffer. How often do well meaning Christian "friends" try to convince a suffering fellow-believer that there must be sin in his life in order for God to allow him to suffer like that?

January 3, 1992

Job 6

The only verse that really stands out is verse 14. "To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend; but he forsaketh the fear of the Almighty."

Perhaps this jumped out at me because it shows what the afflicted want and need. Pity in this context refers to kindness and compassion. So often Christians are prone to repeat "spiritual platitudes" like "give it to God" or "I'll pray for you" etc. When they really mean, "I've heard enough now." The suffering person needs a compassionate ear and maybe even some tangible help.

A Blast From the Past

Philippians 3:13- 14 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Journal Entry for November 9, 1989:

I went to a lady's luncheon today. It was very good and the speaker was excellent. She spoke on Philippians 3:12-14.

"...forgetting those things which are behind..."

1. Forget past failure
2. Confess sin to God and others and forget it
3. Forget your accomplishments (you'll bore everyone telling them how good you are!)

"...reaching forth..."

1. Reach out to others (who need Jesus)

"...press toward the mark..."

1. If I do only what I know I can do within my little sphere of comfort, where does that leave any room for faith? Get outside your comfort zone and take on some spiritual challenges.

Back to the present:

It's been fun for me to go back to some of my old journals and read what I have written. While Scripture says to forget those things which are behind, it also says, "I will remember the works of the Lord..." (Psalm 77:11) I am finding much encouragement in my old journals as I read notes like the one above. I am also challenged to get back to journaling my Quiet Times with God like I used to do all the time. I see in my journal from 1989 where I was struggling with a lot stuff that isn't all that much different than the struggles I deal with today and it is encouraging to me how God sustained me and strengthened me through His Word. It gives me encouragement for the present when I see His faithfulness from the past.

Dear Father, You are faithful. I see that in my journals of the past. I still struggle with getting outside my comfort zones and stepping out in faith. Give me strength and courage to do what you ask me to do even if it means leaving my comfort zone. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

The Power of Prayer

I was recently reading in a homeschool magazine about the power of prayer and the importance of praying for our children.  The author used the defeat of the Nazi's over England's airspace as an example.of the power of prayer.  I wanted to learn more about this so I did a search on Google and this is what I found.  Click the link for the complete web page.  But here is the story I was looking for.  Read it and be encouraged!  Marsha

 

http://www.generals.org/index.php?id=1159

In September 1940, Churchill received intelligence reports that a Nazi air invasion was impending. Since Nazi factories were able to produce planes more quickly than the British, there was little doubt the Royal Air Force would be badly outnumbered. The attack ensued with more than two hundred Nazi bombers droning toward England. Only twenty-six squadrons rose from British soil to oppose them.

 

Then inexplicably the discs on the wall chart began to move eastward. The great Nazi air flotilla had turned back. With 185 of the aircraft downed in flames they were in retreat! Miraculously, against all logistical probability, the Royal Air Force had won the battle…

 

Amazing reports came from downed Nazi pilots. [Several were] quizzed as to why they had turned back when only two planes were attacking. “Two?” exclaimed one pilot, “There were hundreds!” Another Luftwaffe officer asked them in perplexity, “Where did you get all the planes you threw into battle over Britain?” His British interrogators managed to mask their surprise. Actually, the powerful Nazi bomber force had been met by a mere handful of little outmoded Royal Air Force Spitfire and Hurricane fighters. There was no sky full of Royal Air Force planes!...

 

A Nazi intelligence officer captured still later came nearest to disclosing the divine source of the…mirages which had confused the Luftwaffe pilots. “With the striking of your Big Ben clock each evening at nine,” the Nazi told the British intelligence officer, “you used a secret weapon which we did not understand. It was very powerful, and we could find no countermeasure against it.”

 

He was right! There was a powerful force set in motion each evening as Big Ben struck nine. It was the powerful force of a nation in heartfelt prayer against which no countermeasure could hope to prevail – a nation in prayer to the omnipotent God of creation. Each evening as Big Ben in the clock tower of the Parliament Building struck nine, the people of the British Isles and of the far-flung English Commonwealth halted for the famous Silent Moment of Prayer.

Visit Marsha's Blog: Sufficient Grace for Suffering Saints
http://middings.blogspot.com/

Glory, Fear and Grace

thanks to  Tim Counts

for his contribution

 

Luke 2:9-11 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

 

Christmas Eve I was encouraged as I listened to my nephew preach in church.  It is so amazing to me how God will impress on me the same message in a variety of unrelated ways.  On Sunday nights in my own church, we have been listening to R.C Sproul on video tape as he speaks on the holiness of God.  He emphasized how in the Bible you see holy men falling down on their faces and saying they are unclean when confronted with the holiness and glory of God.  Sunday my nephew brought out another dimension of this.  He pointed out that there is always a pattern in the Bible when one is confronted with the awesome holiness and glory of God.  The pattern is this: 1) God's glory

2) fear 3) grace.  The shepherds were confronted with God's glory, they were fearful and then God offered them grace..."a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord".

 

Isaiah, in Isaiah 6, said, when confronted with God's holiness, "Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."  He realized that he was unclean before a holy God.  Then in verses 6-7 God offers him grace, "Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar:  And he laid it upon my mouth, and said, Lo, this hath touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged."

 

In Job 40:2-4, Job is confronted with God's holiness and responds in verse 4 with, "Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer thee? I will lay mine hand upon my mouth."  Later in Job 42, God offers grace.

 

Job 42:8-10 Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and my servant Job shall pray for you: for him will I accept: lest I deal with you after your folly, in that ye have not spoken of me the thing which is right, like my servant Job.  So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went, and did according as the LORD commanded them: the LORD also accepted Job.  And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.

 

God continues to work in this way today.  When God reveals His holiness to people to day, they are fearful as they realize how sinful they are and it's at that point that God offers His grace.  Ephesians 2:8-10 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  Not of works, lest any man should boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

 

I pray with my nephew that you too have been confronted with the holiness of God, the fear of your own sinfulness and experienced the grace that God offers in Jesus Christ.

 

Dear Father, I am grateful for the way that You confirm Your Word to me in a variety of unrelated ways.  It is just one more way you show You grace to me and I thank You for that.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

 

Weep with Them that Weep

Romans 12:15 ... weep with them that weep.

We are commanded to weep with those who weep. But do you find it difficult to do that? Isn't it easier to just keep your distance and send a card and then go on and pretend nothing has happened? How often do we attend a funeral, give a hug and shed a few tears and then go on like nothing happened, never bringing up the subject of the lost loved one to the bereaved again? Or perhaps you buy some flowers, but instead of waiting for the person to answer the door, you leave them on the front step and beat a hurried retreat to your car so as to avoid a potential uncomfortable situation because you don't know what to say. It's so much easier to go that route. Some, feeling awkward and not knowing what to say end up passing the person off with spiritual platitudes that do little in the way of comfort but much in the way of causing frustration and more pain. "All things work together for good to them that love God...." is true, but the bereaved is not ready to to hear that when the wounds are fresh.

I have been on both sides of the fence. I have been the receiver and to my shame, the giver of this kind of "comfort". But I have been the receiver of it enough now, to know that it hurts and I try to be more careful now.

So how do we comfort those in distress? Telling them that everything will turn out alright, or that God has a good purpose for it usually is not comforting to the person in crises. It sends the message that you don't want to enter into their pain with them and help them through it. It tells them you are uncomfortable listening to their troubles. I know you might not mean it that way, but having been on the other side of it, that is how it comes across many times. Well meaning spiritual advice is not what they need when their wounds are so fresh. I remember one time when I was having a hard time coping with a circumstance in my life and I just wanted to talk it out. I was quickly brushed aside with the words, "Just give it to God." It quickly and effectively shut me down. That wasn't what I needed to hear at that moment in time. I needed a listening compassionate ear and a shoulder to cry on.

In Romans 12:15 we are commanded to weep with those who weep. That means more than just a few minutes of your time to say a few condolences or send a card. It means being there to listen. Being available to help in any way you can. And yes, sometimes it means saying nothing but hugging them and shedding tears with them. This means more than anything to one who is grieving any kind of loss. They need God's love in action.

I hope these thoughts have been helpful to you and that we can all be better comforters to those in distress and grief.

Dear Father, We need Your grace to step out of our comfort zones and show people we really care. Give us grace to help in time of need. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

New Year's Challenges

Hebrews 12:1- 2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Tonight I am scraping the bottom of the devotional barrel.  Seems with the holidays and all the extra-curricular activities I am finding myself coming up dry.  My life has become cluttered with too many things going on and my house is becoming cluttered with too much stuff.  As a result I am finding that I am suffering spiritually as I am distracted with all these activities and things.  Clutter is a weight that holds me down and keeps me from running the race with patience that God has set before me.  I find that as clutter over takes me, I am losing stuff and losing my temper with it.  It sucks the patience right out of me and my family suffers as I am fretting over it all.  I suffer physically as well with the stress of it all.  That¹s not how God intended it to be.  

And so, this New Year, I am working at it slowly, but I am trying to lay aside the weight that is holding me downŠ.  the clutter in my lifeŠso that I can be more effective in the race that God has set before me.  My race is that of being a wife, mom, home manager and home-school teacher to my children.  This is the calling God has given me.  I desire to it to the best of my ability, but it requires me to get rid of what holds me down and keeps me from being and doing my best.

I also desire to grow closer in my walk with God and getting rid of clutter in my life will aid that goal so that I can spend quality quiet time with God and not be distracted by all the clutter that calls out to be dealt with.  Simplicity.  That is what I desire for my home, my family, my life and my walk with God.  It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 11:3,  "But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ."

What about you?  What is your desire for the New Year?  What is God¹s desire for you in the New Year?  What will you do today to run the race that God has set before you?  Will you eliminate what isn¹t necessary and what hinders you in doing what God has called you to do?  Let¹s run the race with patience!

Dear Father, Thank You for speaking to me through your Word when I thought I was coming up dry.  Help me to follow through on what you have shown me.  In Jesus¹ Name Amen.